Friday, March 1, 2013

Hate all of you!... with affection


Lately the emotion seems to be the master in me. Everyone with their own selves right now. Yes. People change. I change. Others change. Alhamdulillah the changes are sooo great. So ohsem. They are positive. But then, to have something like this, to have a changes in life, there are also things that has to be sacrifice.

Miss the old me. But then love the new me to. Am I greedy? Yes, I do think so. I want to have them all with me. Everyone. The old and the new. But it was impossible. People do have limit.

Energy Limit. 
Emotional limit. 
Time limit.
Affection limit?
But... I do love you all. 

Maybe I am too greedy to have all of you only to be mine. Somewhat uncomfortable when you with someone else. Yes. I do JEALOUS. Jealous of you. With them. No longer me. But it started actually when I do left you when I am with the new one. But when you turn to the other side, I cant help it. Feels like to pull you harshly beside me back, while still hold the hands of the new one.

ON. No words after past 2 semesters. But nice to have you first gave me 'the word' recently. It feels like I winning the game. But yes. I hate to be far. Then to look at you feels okay with it, I feels like to stab you on the face, then pull it, then stab at your back, then pull it again, and stab stab stab stab all over your body. Hate you, emotionless 'human like' being!

YAH. Arghh you with your new 'ones' just like me. Have own group. Hearing you hang out with them feels like ahh. Ok, there is no me anymore huh? But the problems started because of me actually. I do busy with them. 'The new them'. No time for others, I am glad, but then what happen to the old 'them' then??? Cant help it. I DO WANNA WITH ALL OF YOU RIGHT NOW! At the same time. The same me. The same you. The same them. If I can cut and divide my body equally to you.. All of you.. Feels like..... will be great then! Right?

NA. You with your 'super-duper-lovable-buah-hati pengarang-jantung-girlfriend-that-has-to-be-apart-because-of-the-time-bla bla bla bla' really really really really killing me inside. Do confessed to me with deep love but I am not blind to measure duh. She is everything to you right?

I do realized. The emotion getting harder because of the final period of us to be together. I am so greedy to enjoy the time with all you. ALL! I DO MEAN ALL! But its clearly impossible.

Hope we will not forget each other. 

I do hate you all!.... WITH AFFECTION. 

I do afraid

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